Lately I’ve been getting several invitations on LinkedIn either from people I don’t know or from people who get past some of the LinkedIn screening features by claiming they know me from working together someplace I have never worked. In both scenarios, I am rarely given an explanation of why they want to connect; just the standard “I’d like to add you to my network” line.

I’m certainly not a LinkedIn prude and I do connect on LinkedIn with people I don’t know…If they tell me how they heard about me and why they think we should connect.

Part of the beauty of LinkedIn is the ability to transcend geography, industry, profession, and age to meet new people who can add value to your network and who you can offer reciprocal help. It’s all about building long term relationships. So if you want to connect with me, tell me why you think we should “be in a relationship.” Don’t invite me into your network with no explanation…I’m not into one night stands.

This month the #careercollective is offering advice on how to overcome the negative aspects of job search and stay upbeat if your search efforts haven’t landed you a job yet. Job search is tough and it’s certainly a lot of work; but it doesn’t have to be drudgery. Here are ten suggestions for things you can do to make job search more rewarding, more enlightening, and hopefully more fun.

Eat. No, I’m not talking about pity eating and downing a bag of chips and a pint of ice cream in front of the TV. But meeting a friend for coffee, a drink, or lunch is a great way to combine something pleasant and fun with some power networking.
Write. Journaling is a great way to record how you are feeling during your search and examine the trends that could be indicators of what is working in your search and what is not. Some even turn their journals into blogs to create a following and make new friends and contacts as they chronicle their unemployment experience.
Study. Did you know that The Department of Labor funds job training programs? You may qualify for training in a specific skill or funding to return to school to complete a degree program. Going back to school can be fun.
Volunteer. Find a cause you are passionate about and volunteer for a role that allows you to create visibility in front of the decision makers in this volunteer community. You never know who these people may know and what types of introductions they may be able to make for you. And volunteering helps you feel needed and reminds you of all you have to be grateful for.
Exercise. Aerobic conditioning and weight workouts can help you feel better and burn calories more efficiently during the day. Pilates can help reduce the muscle aches often associated with hours of sitting at a desk hunched over a computer, and many people find that a regular yoga practice is a great way to reduce stress.
Do Someone a Favor. When you were working you probably didn’t have the time to watch someone else’s kids or pet or help someone with a home improvement project. Now that you have some free time, offer to help make someone’s life easier. Your efforts will be remembered and that help may be reciprocated in the form of an important introduction or job lead.
Primp and Pamper. This is not an indulgence. The little details like your hair and nails count during a job search. And it can be rejuvenating to get a new hairstyle or experiment with a new nail color.
Shop. I’m not suggesting a totally new wardrobe. But a new scarf, tie, hair piece, or handkerchief can change up the interview suit you are tired of wearing and give you a renewed sense of confidence.
Read. Books by Harvey Mackay and Keith Ferrazi have provided inspiration for millions of job seekers over the years. Check out some of their titles at your local library.
Reconnect. Get over your concerns about reconnecting with past colleagues and friends. Social media tools like LinkedIn and Facebook have made it fun, easy (and less creepy) to get back in touch with people from your past. Rekindle past relationships and you are bound to find a friend or two that can help you with some aspect of your search.

Be sure to also check out the advice of my esteemed colleagues below.

@MartinBuckland, Job Search Made Positive

@GayleHoward, Job Search: When It All Turns Sour

@chandlee, Strategy for Getting “Unstuck” and Feeling Better: Watch Lemonade

@heathermundell, Help for the Job Search Blues

@heatherhuhman, 10 Ways to Turn You Job Search Frown Upside-Down

@KCCareerCoach, You Can Beat the Job Search Blues: 5 + 3 Tips to Get Re-Energized

@WalterAkana, Light at the End of the Tunnel

@resumeservice, Don’t Sweat the Job Search

@careersherpa, Mind Over Matter: Moving Your Stalled Search Forward

@WorkWithIllness, Finding Opportunity in Quicksand

@KatCareerGal, Job-Hunting in a Weak Job Market: 5 Strategies for Staying Upbeat (and Improving Your Chances of Success)

@ErinKennedyCPRW, Dancing in the Rain–Kicking the Job Search Blues

@keppie_careers, What do do when you are discouraged with your job search

@DawnBugni, It’s the little things

@ValueIntoWords, Restoring Your Joy in Job Search

Last night I watched the story of mogul skier Alexandre Bilodeau who won the gold medal for Canada on Sunday. He credits his older brother who has cerebral palsy for inspiring him and keeping him driven and focused on his goal. Doctors told his family that his brother would no longer be able to walk past the age of ten, but at age 28 his brother can still walk. So each day when Bilodeau thinks about the training challenges in front of him, he pauses for a moment and thinks of the challenges his brother faces every day, how he has overcome them, and how he continues to beat the odds.

What if job seekers could adopt this Olympic-winner attitude and create internal “tapes” to motivate them and move past their challenges? Perhaps then the setbacks they face would seem manageable and the hope would stay alive. Here are some positive messages job seekers should be sending themselves on a regular basis.

1. I will maintain a healthy life style so I can manage my search at an optimal performance level.
2. I will challenge myself to reach out to new people who may be able to help me with my search.
3. I will accept the help of friends and family during this difficult time even if it makes me a bit uncomfortable.
4. I will seek out coaches and mentors who can help me move closer to my goal.
5. I will put in the time necessary to research potential employers and market myself directly to them.
6. I will examine my resume and other personal marketing collateral to make sure they are the best they can be.
7. I will celebrate the victory of landing an interview, even if I don’t ultimately get the job.
8. I will not blame external factors for my situation.
9. I will be a good team member and support others in their job search when I can.
10. I will regularly envision the end goal of landing my new job.

Some days it’s hard for an athlete to muster up the motivation for the grueling training session ahead of him. Likewise,  some days it’s hard for a job seeker to stay motivated in a challenging market. Positive self-talk can help. So does keeping your eye on the gold. Let the games begin!

Last night I had one of those moments that every mother dreads. It was three hours past the time my teenage daughter was expected home and she wasn’t answering her cell phone which appeared to be off. She’s a pretty responsible girl, so I was concerned to say the least. The fact that I had recently written a post about a sex offender that lives nine blocks from my house probably wasn’t helping me feel more secure about her tardiness.

So I did what any neurotic mother would do. I reached out to everyone I could think of to figure out where she might be. And here’s what I realized. If you really need to find someone, now more than ever, you have the resources to quickly create a web of contacts to get the information you need. I made some phone calls to the parents of her friends, but I simultaneously had my son instant messaging her friends who were online. At the same time, I worked through the one teenage friend both my daughter and I share on Facebook to get the name of a girl who I thought might know her whereabouts and messaged her on Facebook even though we are not friends. Through these efforts, I started to piece together a time line of when she got off the school bus and where her location might be. Within minutes, kids were texting my daughter checking to see if she was ok.

After about 45 minutes of craziness, my daughter walked in the door and told me where she had been (with a student uptown who is tutoring her in math) and that her phone battery was dead. And while she claims she told me about her evening plans this morning, my aging and overloaded brain has no recollection of this conversation. Of course now I’ve completely embarrassed her with my over-the-top sleuthing capabilities, but in retrospect, I wouldn’t have done anything differently if confronted with the situation again.

I think there is a great lesson here for job seekers. If it is truely important to you to find a certain contact that will help move your job search forward or give you key information you need, you will do it. You will think creatively about who knows who and who will be willing to advocate for you and your candidacy. Because it’s that important to you and you won’t stop searching until you have the information you need.

Last week Brian Tietje, Sales Manager for LinkedIn, delivered an excellent presentation on LinkedIn to members of the Human Resources Association of New York networking group. Here are my top ten takeaways for job seekers.

1. Create a keyword driven summary. Forget about the summaries that describe you as passionate, a great communicator, and a team player. LinkedIn is all about searchability and recruiters and hiring managers don’t search on those cliched phrases, Instead, focus on the relevant keywords for your industry and job function and be sure to really build out the specialties section. Like resumes, no recruiter is really reading your LinkedIn profile. They are performing multiple sophisticated keyword searches looking for a match. Make every word count.
2. Monitor your profile views. Check the jobs tab regularly to see how many people have viewed your profile. If the number is exceptionally low, perhaps you need to tweak your profile to improve your searchability.
3. Don’t ignore the events listings. Many hiring authorities search for top talent on LinkedIn by looking in the events section. They scour the list of events on LinkedIn to see who is attending certain industry events and often make connections directly through the events section rather than the user profile section.
4. Spend time in the answers section. Again, hiring managers are looking for the trend setters and industry leaders. Often these people are participating in the answers section of LinkedIn, providing leadership and guidance, building credibility, and demonstrating authority.
5. Include a picture. People want to see who they are doing business with. The picture starts solidifying the trust. The picture is part of your personal brand. Get over your insecurities about having the picture up on LinkedIn. It is here to stay and it is an important component in the relationship building process.
6. Use applications that help you track company information. The Company Buzz application on LinkedIn lets you track in real time who is saying what about certain companies and people on Twitter. This is an excellent way to be in the know about companies you are targeting.
7. Don’t worry about upgrading to the paid level of service. This level is designed for recruiters and marketers, not job seekers. LinkedIn has an enormous amount of utility for job seekers at the free level of service.
8. Pay attention to your privacy settings. LinkedIn generally assumes you want a high level of privacy and will default to that setting unless you tell it otherwise. But everyone should review their settings and make sure they are aligned with your professional goals. For example, you can control who can tell that you have reviewed their profile. As a job seeker you will probably be researching multiple LinkedIn profiles…you don’t necessarily want everyone to know you are searching their profile and you can change this setting to anonymous.
9. Ditch connections that don’t make sense. It is ok to terminate a connection with someone who you don’t know and don’t plan on building a relationship with. The degrees of separation work best when there is some affinity between you and the person you are connected to. Without that affinity it will be more difficult to reach out to that person for an introduction to someone in their network.
10. Keep learning about LinkedIn. Take advantage of the LinkedIn Learning Center and the LinkedIn blog to get the most out of LinkedIn and stay on top of new features.

Everyone’s starting to talk about their New Year’s resolutions…lose weight, exercise more, quit smoking, get out of debt, and find a new job are the ones I hear most frequently. And while I think that New Year’s resolutions are a great idea in theory, I think that a lot of people fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions because often the only criteria motivating the person to make the resolution is the time of year.

This year I made several really big changes in my life. Yet none of them happened overnight. Some took months to make, others took years, and one took more than a decade to come to terms with. But none of them were motivated by the time of year. They were motivated by a feeling that I could no longer continue in a situation under the current circumstances or by the fact that I wanted something and I wanted it sooner rather than later. Basically, my desire to change a situation was greater than my desire not to change it. There really wasn’t an “aha moment” or even a calculated plan in many cases…the changes happened because in my mind, they had to at one point or another.

The other thing about my changes was that few of them went smoothly and most had a “one step forward, two steps back” feel to them. But I was able to persevere because I didn’t link the changes to a time frame. With New Year’s resolutions, people often link them to a time frame and if the person can’t follow the timeline, they frequently abandon the new behavior before they can see the true results of their efforts.

So if one of your New Year’s resolutions is to find a new job, here are some suggestions for forgetting about the time of year and instead focusing on the long term change.

1. Don’t declare a New Year’s resolution; instead set a long-term goal with some interim milestones. If you know you would like to change jobs at some point in time or land a job as quickly as possible, commit to 5 things you could do over the next month to move towards that goal. That may mean setting up informational interviews, joining a professional association, becoming more active on social media sites, or starting your own job search group. Do something to move you closer to your goal.
2. Don’t create a defined time frame for achieving the goal. Forget the formulas about how long a typical job search lasts. There is no such thing as a typical job search. Think about nurturing existing relationships and building new ones to gather information, extend your professional visibility, and secure more interviews. Build relationships whenever you can…graciously accept a meeting whether it will occur next week or next month.
3. Don’t reset the clock when your progress towards your goal feels stagnant. Some weeks your search will feel like you are slogging through mud or sinking in quicksand. Other weeks will be more fruitful. A slow week doesn’t mean the market has tanked or everyone must be on vacation. Don’t give up during the slow times; instead use the downtime to focus on other aspects of your search such as improving your resume or creating a target list of companies to explore…keep on keeping on.
4. Don’t blame external factors for your inability to change; look inward to figure out why you can’t change just yet. It’s easy to blame a bad economy for your lack of progress. But often it’s our own insecurities that hold us back. Even when people want to find a new job or land a job when they don’t have one, it can still be hard. Maybe it’s fear of rejection, apprehension about taking a risk, or a feeling that maybe the grass really isn’t greener on the other side. It’s ok (and normal) to have these feelings. Explore them, deal with them and make decisions as to whether your desire to change exceeds these feelings at this point in time.
5. Cut yourself some slack if you don’t reach your goal as quickly as you would like to. We are all impatient at times. Yet the job market often doesn’t take this into account. In an employer’s market, searches tend to last a long time and it’s not unusual to go through several rounds of interviews over several months before a hiring decision is made. You can’t control every aspect of your search. Focus on what you can control and recognize that things might take longer than you would like.

Forget the one time resolution on January 1. Instead focus on contributing something towards your career each and every day…that’s what career management is all about. To your success in 2010 and beyond!

Everyone wants to help a friend in need. Especially during the holiday season where depression over a job search can be at an all time high. And if you have a friend who is currently in job search, the natural tendency is to try more diligently to help him during this time of year. But before you start dishing out advice, make sure it’s actually helpful. Consider these typical comments/suggestions that many well-meaning friends make during someone’s job search. Are you really helping or could you be massaging your message to add more value to your friend’s search strategy?

1. I’m sure things will pick up in the New Year. This is a cop out on your part and just a way to make the conversation an easier one for you. Show some genuine empathy and let your friend know that you understand that the holidays can be a difficult time to be in a job search and that you are there for him and are willing to offer emotional support.
2. It’s brutal out there; I have another friend who has been out of work for 18 months. Perhaps you are trying to make your friend feel better by showing him he is not alone in his struggles. But comparing two people’s job searches is like comparing apples and oranges. So many factors including the person’s profession, industry, geography, years of experience, resume, quality of their network, and general search strategy can influence the length of the search. Rather than focus on what you think is the norm for a job search, concentrate on ways you can help your friend accelerate theirs. Invite him to events or social functions where you think he may be able to meet people to expand his network or offer to introduce him to one of your colleagues.
3. Let me take a look at your resume; maybe I can offer some suggestions. Unless you screen or write resumes on a regular basis, don’t offer to critique someone else’s. What you think looks professional may not be what hiring authorities, recruiters, and applicant tracking softwares are looking for. Refer your friend to a professional resume writer instead.
4. Have you posted your resume on any job boards? I hear a lot of people are using  (insert job board here). Believe me, most job seekers have already explored this option with minimal results. Hearing the suggestion from you is like rubbing salt into a wound. Rather than recommending he show up at a job board party with thousands of other applicants, offer him an introduction to someone in your network.
5. Maybe you should start your own business. You’ve always been good at (fill in the blank). While your suggestion has good intentions, your friend might not be ready to wrap their head around the concept of starting their own business. And he might not really be cut out for it either. Starting a business requires an enormous amount of thought, time, energy, and introspection. It is generally not an ideal short-term solution to a job loss.

If you have a friend who is in a job search during the holiday season, offer him a meal, an ear, an introduction, and your time. He will get much more mileage out of that kind of support than he will from often misplaced suggestions for what he should be doing. Don’t focus on the quick fix solution; instead focus on supporting him and being there for him.

My son is getting braces. In order to prepare for the braces, he first needs to wear a special “appliance” to realign his jaw. When you look in his mouth it looks like he has four giant screws in the back, all in different places. Each time he closes his mouth he must push his jaw forward in order to have the desired effect. As you can imagine, this makes chewing quite cumbersome. On the first day he could only eat soup and jello. Today he has moved on to mashed potatoes. And by the end of the week we are told that he will have figured out how to chew more solid foods.

I think that when people find themselves in a job search after many years of being comfortable in a job, they have a similar relearning process and nothing comes easy at first. The old methods of job search don’t work the same way anymore and job seekers need to work around more obstacles to find the right leads. Here are some ideas to chew on (pun intended) as you create a direction for your job search.

1. Take a bite out of that old resume. Examine the content of your resume closely. If there is information on it that is dated or irrelevant to your target audience, get rid of it.
2. Sink your teeth into networking. Building relationships takes time. Do something for your network everyday so the task is less overwhelming and more productive. Set attainable goals to schedule coffee with a colleague or lunch with an old friend. Be consistent and purposeful and remember to approach networking with a “give more than you get” attitude.
3. Get a taste of social media. Dabble in LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter and create profiles on Google and Zoom Info. Be part of the conversation and share expertise, ideas, musings, and your experiences.
4. Explore the different flavors of interview questions. Practice responses to behavior based interview questions such as tell me about yourself, tell me about a time when you had to make a difficult decision, or tell me about a project that failed and what you learned from it. Interview questions come in all flavors…some are about positive experiences and some are about difficult situations you faced…learn how to answer all of them with confidence.

The “appliance” in my son’s mouth is an obstacle right now. But he will overcome it…the kid’s gotta eat! Job seekers face obstacles everyday. But with some thought, preparation, and a commitment to do things differently they can overcome these obstacles and savor the taste of a sweet new job.

This month, members of the Career Collective are discussing tips to help job seekers ramp up their efforts for the holiday season and New Year. Here are my thoughts on making the most of your job search during the holiday season.

I’ve been spending the past few evenings writing out holiday cards to my clients. I find that holidays are a great way to reconnect with clients and find out what they have been up to.

The same can be said for job seekers. The holidays provide a natural touch point for reaching out to your network and seeing how friends, family, and colleagues are doing. It’s also an excellent way to become top of mind with people in your network and open up a dialogue in the New Year. Here are some other things you can do during the holiday season to beef up your network and start meaningful career conversations in the New Year.

1. Attend holiday parties. Many professional associations host holiday parties. This is a great way to meet others in your field that may be able to make meaningful introductions for you.
2. Throw your own party. Have an intimate dinner party or a bigger bash at your home or nearby restaurant. This is a great way to practice your pitch, and reconnect with people who may be able to assist you in your search.
3. Ask for informational interviews. The last two weeks of December are traditionally slow for most businesses. You may find that the decision makers who are in the office during those last two weeks are more likely to take a meeting with you.
4. Volunteer. Tis the season…volunteer to do something meaningful in your personal or professional communities during December.  Doing so can increase your visibility and jump start some conversations with people who may be able to help you in the New Year.
5. Take a vacation. What better way to meet new decision makers? It doesn’t need to be extravagent…just find new people to have conversations with. Let them know what you do and ask for their suggestions for expanding your brand’s reach in a very informational, non-threatening way. You may just pick up a lead or two.
6. Reconnect with friends of “Christmas Past”. Check out LinkedIn and Facebook and search for old friends. What better time to reconnect than the holiday season? Get over the fact that it’s been awhile since you last spoke and take the first step. You may be pleasantly surprised by the response you get.

You can read what my colleagues at The Career Collective suggest here:

@MartinBuckland, Elite Resumes, “Season’s Greetings and your Job Search”

@GayleHoward, The Executive Brand, “It’s Christmas: And a ho-ho-ho-hum?”

@KCCareerCoach, Career Chaos, “The Gift Every Laid Off Job Seeker Needs”

@resumeservice, Resume Writing Blog,“Holiday Resume Sparkle: Outshine the New Year Job-Search Mob”

@heathermundell, life@work, “Have a Holly Jolly Job Search”

@sweetcareers,Sweet Careers, “Holiday Job Search Tips for College Students 2009″

@careersherpa, Hannah Morgan: Career Sherpa, “Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa Cheers”

@careerealism, CAREEREALISM.com, “Holiday Tip for Job Seekers: 4 Ways to Impress Others with Your Professionalism”

@heatherhuhman, HeatherHuhman.com, “4 Tips for Making the Most of Holiday Job Hunting”

@LaurieBerenson, Sterling Career Concepts, “Three Resolutions to Take It Up a Notch”

@KatCareerGal, Quintessential Resumes and Cover Letters Tips Blog, “Avoiding the Holiday Blues in Your Job Search”

@WorkWithIllness, WorkingWithillness.com, “Avoid this Minefield: Drive Your Bus!”

@DawnBugni, “The Write Solution Could that sound really be opportunity? During the Holidays?”

@andyinnaples, “Shift Your Focus to the Highest Impact Job Search Activities During the Holidays to Leverage Your Time”

@erinkennedycprw, Professional Resume Services, “How to keep up the Job Hunt during the Holidays”

@keppie_careers, Keppie Careers, “Four tips for effective networking follow-up for the holidays and the rest of the year”

@ValueIntoWords, Career Trend, “Navigating the Mistle Toe of Job Search”

@GLHoffman, What Would Dad Say, “Merry Christmas! Can I Buy You Coffee to Talk About Me?”

@expatcoachmegan, Career By Choice Blog, “Expat Networking: Holidays Are a Great Time to Nurture and Grow Your Network”

@chandlee, The Emerging Professional Blog, “Footprints & Associations: Job Search Tips for the Holidays”

@JobHuntOrg, Job-Hunt.org, “(Holiday) Party Your Way to a New Job”

I’m excited to announce that my second book, #JobSearchTweet will be released shortly. The book delivers 140 tweet-like tips on just about every aspect of job search. It’s a book that you can read quickly but continue to reference for the duration of your career. Resumes, cover letters, thank you letters, references, recruiters, networking, social media, interviewing, and salary negotiation are all addressed. Here’s a sneak peak at a few of the tweets.

• When writing a resume, include graduation dates; omitting them raises suspicion and calls more attention to the very thing you are trying to hide.
• Half of hiring managers read cover letters and the other half do not; but you never know which half you are dealing with so always send one when applying for an open position.
• Have a phone interview? Sit in front of a mirror to anchor you during the conversation and make you feel like you are talking to someone (even if that someone is yourself!)
• When networking, ask people you meet a lot of questions about themselves. People think you are a great conversationalist when you let them do most of the talking.
• With traditional networking you can only be in one place at a time; with online networking you can be interacting in multiple communities simultaneously.
• The negotiation process begins the moment you submit your resume and continues until the offer is finalized. You can’t position yourself at one level on the resume and expect to be compensated at a higher level later on.

Interested in the other 134 tweets? Learn more about the book here and for more job search tips follow the #jobsearchtweet hashtag on Twitter.