I received a LinkedIn invitation today that read: John Doe (not his real name) has indicated you are a colleague from Pfizer Corporation (not his real company). Here’s the problem. I don’t know John Doe and I never worked for Pfizer. John Doe is gaming the system to send an invite.

But how is this an attractive offer? I don’t know this person and his strategy for getting to me is sneaky and a little bit creepy. How is this a sound strategy for gaining an introduction? It’s like Arnold Schwarzenegger hitting on Mary Murphy’s makeup artist in the elevator or Anthony Weiner sending his @ messages on Twitter where they don’t belong.

It’s not like I’m that hard to find. Google me. You’ll find me and all my contact information. And then you can send me a note that explains why you think we should connect. I don’t bite. I’m happy to connect if you explain your intentions. But once you select a method for connecting with me that is underhanded you lose credibility in my eyes and I’m not so sure I want to know you.

You may recall flight attendant Steven Slater’s dramatic exit from Jet Blue this year or medic Dawnmarie Souza’s very public diss of her supervisor on her Facebook page. But these two weren’t the only ones who’s judgment was questionable this year and got the axe because of it. You can read my top 10 list here.

Despite all the information available about “netiquette” and the importance of networking strategically online, I continue to get dozens of  mystery online networking requests. Sometimes the connection is as weak as being a member of the same group (with 50,000 other members) or as bizarre as asking for a face-to-face meeting based on the fact that we reside in the same city.

Something strange seems to happen to some people when they network online. It’s as if some people think that none of the common rules for building relationships exist. Could you imagine ever saying any of the following things over the phone or in person to someone you don’t know?

1. I’ve seen you walking down this block in the neighborhood before. Want to meet for coffee?
2. Someone told me we used to work for the same company that employs 20,000 people. Want to chat sometime?
3. I found your number in the phone book. Maybe we have something in common.
4. I heard through the grapevine that you work for a company where I would really like to work. Can you tell me more about what it’s like to work there?
5. I found you in the 1997 student alumni directory. I’m a graduate of the class of 1980. Would you like to compare notes?
6. I know I’ve never actually met you before and you have no idea who I am. But someone suggested I say “since you are someone I know and trust, I would like to add you to my network.” Does that work for you? (Hint: that’s verbatim from a LinkedIn template that people seem to use whether they know you or not).
7. You looked like someone I should know so I followed you home, made note of your address and then did a search to find your phone number. Would love to meet formally sometime.
8. I found your name and number written on a cocktail napkin at a local restaurant and I decided to call you. I figured, “what do I have to lose?”

Of course you wouldn’t say any of these things! So why do people think this approach will work online? If you are using LinkedIn or other social media tools to connect with others, create authentic relationships and recognize that the affinity will grow over time. Even on Twitter where there are generally no gatekeepers for connecting with others, it’s still advisable to follow the person for awhile and create a supportive and non-threatening dialogue before bringing the relationship face to face.

I am a fairly open connector on LinkedIn as well as other social media platforms. But I have to know a little bit about you and why you want to connect before I accept. Isn’t that just common sense?

For anyone interested in connecting via LinkedIn, you can find me here. Just be sure to tell me how you found me and why you think we should connect.

According to the second annual Social Recruitment Survey conducted by Jobvite, (via Career Management Alliance), employers are recruiting several ways: employee referrals, professional online networks, social networks such as Facebook and Twitter; and the traditional sources, including search firms and job boards. The survey clearly shows a preference based on the quality of candidates and cost-effectiveness for employee referrals and professional social networks, to recruit candidates. Some highlights of the report:
• 76% plan to invest more in employee referrals and 72% plan to invest more in recruiting through social networks
• 80% of companies use or are planning to use social networking to find and attract candidates this year
• 77% of respondents said they use social networks to reach passive candidates who are not actively seeking employment
• 24% of candidates disclose their social networking presence when applying for a job.

Use of Social Networks:
• LinkedIn use grew from 80 percent in 2008 to 95 percent of respondents in 2009 and Facebook use grew from 36 percent in 2008 to 59 percent in 2009
• Twitter, ranked third with 42 percent of recruiters using the tool to source candidates
• 66% of respondents reported that they had successfully hired a candidate who was identified or introduced through an online social network