Barbara Safani No Comments

According to a recent survey conducted by YourTango and ForbesWomen, 75 percent of women surveyed said they would not marry someone without a job and 65 percent said they wouldn’t get married if they were the one who was unemployed. But 91 percent of single women said they would marry for love over money. Huh? Some of the other survey stats intrigued me as well including:

  • 55 percent of women would give up their careers to take care of children if their partners asked them to but only 28 percent would ask the same of their partner.
  • 77 percent of women believe they can simultaneously have a fulfilling relationship and family life, as well as a successful career yet only 43 percent said their work/life balance is what they would like it to be.
  • 62 percent of women in a relationship said they only spend 3 waking hours with their partner during the work week.
  • 42 percent of women said that if they had an extra hour each day they would spend it alone rather than with their partners, friends, or family.

Is it possible that women have been conditioned to want love over money, but the prospect of being with someone who is unemployed challenges a need for stability? Is there a biological predisposition for women to assume the man will be the primary breadwinner?

And what about the work/life balance issue? Is it conceivable that women have been told for so long that they can have it all that they naturally believe this is so, even when their lives don’t reflect any such work/life balance? Do woman want it all and then decide to “chuck it” once kids come into the picture and there is an opportunity to raise a family full-time?

I don’t have the answers to any of these questions, but I think the survey represents the state of flux, turmoil, and confusion that many women feel. We want it all, but having it all simultaneously seems to be mathematically impossible. Maybe there just aren’t enough hours in the day to have it all at the same time. Are there other options? What do you think?