I recently came across a video called Sh*t New Yorkers Say. The video is a funny account of what it’s like to live in New York City. It touches on all that is magical and all that is annoying about this city in less than 3 minutes. It’s accuracy is uncanny and as a native New Yorker I’ve undoubtedly uttered at least 90% of the same things about this city during my time here. But I think the beauty of the video is that it depicts New York City life in a transparent and authentic way. It’s a city that attracts and repels its inhabitants at the same time. The feeling you get living in New York City is not black or white. It’s gray. And to me, anything that appears only black or white is not authentic. There must be gray in order for it to be real.

Many of my clients come to me for advice on how to build and integrate a personal brand and an online persona into their job search strategy. Most want a LinkedIn profile and few consider Facebook an integral part of their online brand. If anything, they shy away from incorporating Facebook into their search strategy because they fear doing so will pull back the curtain on who they “really are” rather than keep the spotlight shining on who they would like to be perceived as. They want black and white, but not gray. But black and white is boring, one-dimensional and not believable. Just like many of the LinkedIn profile headlines I read…Visionary CEO…Dynamic Marketing Executive, Results-Oriented Operations Manager…Really? What does that mean? How does that help me get to know you as a professional I can trust? It doesn’t. This approach to online branding reminds me of a blog post a colleague recently shared titled R.I.P. Personal Branding that suggests that personal branding has evolved into no more than being fake. And no one wants to do business or be friends with someone who appears fake.

People who friend me on Facebook see the gray. Sure, they get job search advice, links to great articles and resources, and motivating success stories about my clients and all of this helps build their confidence in me as a professional.  But they also see what types of things I am interested in and they get a feel for who I am as a New Yorker, a mother, a daughter, a friend. And if they dig deeper they will figure out that I love dark chocolate,  running in Central Park, and high heeled shoes. They get the panoramic view of me rather than just the professional headline. People want to hire people that they relate to and connect with. And you can’t do that successfully by simply stating you are a visionary leader.

Whether you decide to use LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, or a combination of these and other social media platforms, remember to keep it real. Showing a bit of the gray is good for your brand.

At age 88 Betty White had a leading role in the TV show Hot in Cleveland, a memorable Snickers commercial that first aired during the Superbowl, and a guest host spot on Saturday Night Live. And in the two years that have followed, Betty White continues to be everywhere and the job offers don’t seem to be slowing down. Today is Betty White’s 90th birthday and she’s still working. And I think this is a testament to her relevance. Her age hasn’t held her back because she continues to be able to play roles that people young and old can relate to and appreciate.

In job search, people sometimes assume that they will be discriminated against because of their age. But I think that some candidates get passed up for others because they lack relevance. Maybe they don’t mesh well with the culture of a company with a demographic that skews younger, or their management style isn’t in sync with the needs of their younger subordinates. Perhaps their skills aren’t up to date or they are resistant to incorporate relevant social media and collaborative web-based project management tools into the way they do their job.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Betty White. Because whether you are 25, 35, 45, 55, or older you won’t be the right person for the job if you can’t prove you are relevant to a prospective employer’s needs.

Check out my earlier tribute to Betty White and 5 tips for remaining relevant in your career on AOL Jobs.

I recently came across this SHRM article Former Employees Claim Ownership of Twitter Handles, LinkedIn Connections  describing the tug-of-war between employers and employees over ownership of Twitter handles and followers and LinkedIn accounts and connections once an employee leaves the company. While more and more companies seem to be creating more formalized social media policies, it’s obvious that there is still a lot of gray when it comes to deciding what rightfully belongs to the individual and what the employer can claim as theirs.

According to a Forbes article, Who Owns Your LinkedIn Contacts,  a court in England ordered that an employee who resigned to start his own consulting business turn over his LinkedIn contacts to his former employer, along with receipts and contracts proving that none of them became clients of his new firm.

Yet in another case in New York, a head hunter who left her firm to start her own practice was sued by her former employer for approaching candidates and clients who were her LinkedIn contacts and also part of the former employer’s  database.  Here the court ruled that LinkedIn connections do not qualify as trade secrets because LinkedIn connections are easily derived from public information.

It remains to be seen how these issues will play out in the years to come, but in the meantime, here are a few suggestions for increasing your chances of retaining ownership of your social media information following a departure from a company.

1. Attach your LinkedIn account to your personal email rather than your company email.
2. Create a PDF copy of your LinkedIn profile so if you ever get “locked out” of your account you can retrieve your information.
3. Export your contacts regularly and store them in another database not connected to your social media accounts.
4. Create a Twitter handle that uses your name rather than a company name.
5. Prior to accepting a new position, read the employee manual and learn what the social media policy (if any) is.
6. If you are required to sign a non-compete, review it carefully and try to negotiate for a non-compete with terms that are the most specific and the least limiting. This may include specific language about your ability to retain ownership of your social media contacts.

The holidays are behind us. And maybe you’ve made a few New Year’s resolutions…Lose weight, save more money…or maybe look for a new job. There are many simple, painless changes you can make in 2012 to increase your chances of finding your next job. Here are my top ten.

1. Update your resume. The last week of December was one of my busiest weeks ever. People who had no expectations of being sourced for a position and interviewed called me in a frenzy because they had to put a resume together pronto. You never know when someone will want to speak to you about a great opportunity. Update your resume before you need it and keep a list of running accomplishments throughout the year so if someone wants to see your resume quickly you will be ready.
2. Stop ignoring Facebook as a job search tool. I speak to job seekers every day and ask them if they use Facebook as part of their networking and  job search strategy. Usually they snicker or say, “I just use Facebook for personal relationships.” Job search is about all relationships…personal and professional. You never know where your next job lead will come from. Embrace the gray area and blur the lines. A friend is just as likely to introduce you to a great connection as a business colleague. Use tools like BranchOut and BeKnown to optimize your chances of finding key people via the Facebook platform.
3. Invest in a professional photo. With the explosion of social media sites, the expectation is that your photo will accompany your profile. If no photo is there people wonder why. By investing in a professional photo, you can ensure the best angle and lighting and be able to select from multiple shots. And some photography studios can help with hair, makeup, and wardrobe choices. Some can even Photoshop out certain imperfections from the shot.
4. Update your wardrobe. You don’t need to make a huge investment. A new jacket, tie, sharp scarf, pin or something similar might be all you need. If your look screams 1985, you could give hiring managers the impression that your skills are stuck in that era as well. Find a style savvy friend to help you update your wardrobe or hire an image consultant to get you on the right track.
5. Join a professional association. Many job opportunities are shared through professional associations. Why post a job to thousands of strangers when you can go to your internal colleagues and advisors and quickly source the best candidates? Being involved in a professional association helps you become part of the inner circle in your professional community.
6. Let someone pick your brain. Perhaps you read the recent Forbes article, No You Can’t Pick My Brain, It Costs Too Much recommending you be cautious about giving free advice because doing so means you are devaluing your knowledge. I disagree. Giving free advice could mean more opportunities in the future. Spend 20 minutes with someone to help them resolve an issue and they will remember it. And you will be on the top of their list of people to help in the future. It’s possible for someone to pick your brain without them siphoning your entire knowledge base. Don’t be stingy with information.
7. Give kudos. Offer endorsements via LinkedIn and other social media sites to people whose work you know and trust. This will keep you top of mind with your network and increase the likelihood that people will in turn help you when you are seeking advice and information.
8. Make time for lunch. We get so wrapped up in work and other priorities that we forget to take time to socialize during the work day. The lunch hour is a time to reconnect with people, share advice, and gather information. This is a critical aspect of career management. The more people that know you and the more people know about you, the greater the likelihood that someone will be able to assist you with some aspect of your career in the future. And if you’ve been spending your lunch hour with the same 2 people for the past 5 years, now’s the time to change that and branch out your inner circle.
9. Buy a piggy bank. For many job seekers money is tight. They forgo a promising networking event or dues for a professional association membership due to the cost. They may fail to realize that for every week that they make poor job search decisions they stay unemployed longer and lose valuable income. Inquire about “in-transition” rates for professional organizations. Some don’t advertise these cost reductions aggressively but do offer a reduced rate for in-transition professionals.
10. Learn something new. What’s trending in your industry? Which of your skills are rusty? What gaps are there between your skills and the needs of your industry? Gaining education doesn’t have to be expensive and doesn’t necessarily require a formal education. Read industry publications, follow the blogs of industry thought leaders, or make an investment in a class or degree program if you think it is warranted.

Here’s to your career in 2012 and beyond!

As 2011 draws to a close, I’m reflecting on some of my favorite blog posts of the year. Looking forward to sharing more job search advice, rants, and funny stories about the world of work in 2012. Happy New Year!

Job Search Advice

Common Interview Questions and What They Mean

Resume Writing Tips For Susan Lucci and Others Who Haven’t Written a Resume in 40 Years

Ask the Job Search Coach: How Can I Get a Raise?

Career Advice From the Class of 2015

Changing Careers: Look Before You Leap

Rants

The Real Reason Why Most LinkedIn Profiles Suck

Working Women Need Wives

Breastfeeding Breaks at Work: How Far Have We Really Come?

Working Mothers and Letting Go of the Guilt

Just for Fun

Handshake Horror Stories

Funny Job Postings

Outrageous Interview Blunders

Lying to Get a Job: 9 Famous Fibbers

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Other Famous Affairs With the Boss

Everyday I counsel job seekers on how to leverage social media to accelerate their job search. And I’m happy to report that over the last year, more and more people are using LinkedIn as a way to stay in touch with people and build new relationships. But when I ask clients if they use Facebook, 9 times out of 10 the reply is, “Well, I have a Facebook account, but I only use it to keep up with personal relationships, not for job search.”

Why is it that people think the two are mutually exclusive? Why do many  people assume that you can’t find a job on Facebook? According to a recent survey by JobVite, nearly nine out of 10 job seekers (86%) have a social media profile. Facebook has the majority with 84% of job seekers, followed by 39% using Twitter and 35% using LinkedIn. Nearly 1/3 of job seekers (31%) have a profile on all three networks. But more than 1/3 of job seekers surveyed that have a Facebook profile don’t use it in any way to look for work. On the other hand, nearly all job seekers with a profile on LinkedIn and almost 3/4 of those on Twitter leverage their networks for job hunting.

Of those surveyed, 42% had 150+ contacts on Facebook, compared to just 26% with the same number of contacts on LinkedIn and Twitter.  So job seekers are using social media more aggressively on the platforms where they have fewer contacts. The odds of finding someone who can help you are greater when you have a larger network to draw on. Why are avid Facebook users less inclined to use it for job search? Here are some of the reasons I have heard in the past and my rebuttals to the Facebook for job search naysayers.

1. My friends don’t know anyone. Usually when someone tells me this it means that their friends are not in their field so they don’t know anyone that could be useful in their search. But that is an incorrect assumption. You don’t know who your friends know until you ask them. Who are your friend’s friends and who do they know? That’s the real question you should be asking and Facebook is a great tool for shedding light on this.
2. I want to be myself on Facebook and I can’t do that if employers can view my profile. You don’t have to share everything about yourself with everyone. Facebook has an extensive privacy section and you can make decisions about who sees what every time you post.
3. My current boss is a Facebook friend and I don’t want  him to see my job search activity. Job seekers can use a third party application like BranchOut or BeKnown to source important contacts via Facebook without adding them as Facebook friends.
4. No serious employers will be sourcing talent via Facebook. Go to Facebook and do a search on an employer you are interested in. I’m pretty sure you will find their Facebook page. And that page is filled with fans who “like” their page and regularly comment on it. Facebook fan pages are a place where companies build engagement with the people who use their products and services. It’s also a place where job seekers can source valuable information about the company and even job leads.

I recently read Green Career Central’s excellent recommendations for building a target list of green companies. If you are interested in researching green jobs, check out Green Career Central founder Carol McClelland’s suggestions below.

1) Newsweek Green Company Rankings – Click on the headings to sort the data based on any of the following categories: Rank, company, country, industry sector, green score, environmental impact score, environmental management, and disclosure. Reading about the methodology will help you understand the meaning of the various scores.
a. Top 500 US Green Companies
b. 15 Greenest Companies
c. Top 500 Global Green Companies

2) GreenBiz.com’s State of Green Biz 2011 Report – This report that summarizes the most important trends of the previous year is released every February. Each section of the report highlights key companies making significant progress. Highly recommend reading this report from cover to cover to get a sense of the green economy in general while also scanning the appropriate sections of the report for possible companies.

3) Certified B Corps – A new legal structure is gaining traction in the US. According to the website, B Corps use “the power of business to solve social and environmental problems.” You can check out the 476 companies that are currently B Corps. Use the tabs on this page to slice and dice the data by industry, state, affiliations, and impact. Click on a map for a visual representation of where these companies are located.

4) Climate Counts – This site helps consumers understand how companies in various sectors stack up when it comes to combating climate change. This report is helpful to see which companies are just starting their efforts and which companies are making progress within a particular industry sector. Their latest data are to be released today, December 7, 2011.

5) State Report – Check out this list of green companies in Oregon.

6) Product Report – In some cases you can glean valuable information about which companies are green by seeing how the companies’ products stack up. In the Greenpeace Guide to Greener Electronics you’ll learn some interesting information about how green (or not green) a variety of electronics companies are.

Today is a day to honor our nation’s veterans for the sacrifices they have made in their lives. But lets take a moment to honor the sacrifices of their spouses as well.

A few months ago I had the pleasure of interviewing business coach Royale Scuderi, a military spouse and founder of the Guard Wife blog. The job description for the role of military spouse is not for the faint of heart. Being a military spouse requires patience, empathy, the ability to multi-task, and a sense of humor. You can read Scuderi’s tips for succeeding in the role of military spouse here  and thank you to all veterans and military spouses for all you have sacrificed to help protect our country.

Recently I was interviewed by Career Rookie for an article about college majors and their relevance to certain professions. But the bigger piece of my interview revolved around the stress many parents feel as their children embark on their first job search in a challenging market. I find that many college students don’t start learning about the job search process until they graduate, which in my opinion is at least four years too late. So here are my top ten tips for helping your child craft a career management strategy while they are still in college to increase their chances of landing a job swiftly after graduation.

1. Work a minimum wage job during the academic school year. I’m a firm believer that everyone should work at least one minimum wage job during their life. Flipping burgers, bagging groceries, running deliveries, or working a cash register are all jobs that help kids gain a comfort level dealing with people and working under fast-paced and often stressful conditions. These jobs teach humility, patience, and control and give kids a sense of independence. And they will make them better appreciate the next job when it comes along. Juggling school and work efficiently also conveys a certain level of responsibility and maturity to prospective employers later on when the student is searching for a full-time role.
2. Visit your college career services office early and often. Most students show up in the college career services office once or twice and rarely before their senior year. A better strategy would be for the student to make an initial appointment freshman year and build a relationship with the counselors so they can guide him throughout his college career and keep him top of mind for appropriate internships. This may be the only time in your child’s life when they he receive career counseling services at no additional charge as it is included in the college tuition.
3. Get as many internships as you can as early as you can. During the summer months and winter breaks, recommend sourcing an internship. If your child worked for pay during the school year he may be able to go without the paycheck over the break and pick up some specific professional experience crunched into a 2 to 3 month break. If he has a strong interest in a particular industry,he can try to source something in that industry, but if not, he can shoot for an internship where he can pick up some general professional skills that he can repeat in other industry internships later on until he figures out his career aspirations.
4. Source relevant volunteer opportunities. This may include taking on a leadership role in a student chapter of a relevant professional organization or starting up an on campus club related to something your child is passionate about. Help him brainstorm activities that can supplement the college curriculum, showcase leadership skills, and provide opportunities to source important connections.
5. Join LinkedIn. Freshman year of college is not too early. Your child will already have some skills to add to the profile, maybe a job or two, and perhaps some volunteer or internship experience. For a student, it’s better to have an abbreviated profile on LinkedIn than none at all. And by being a member, he can begin to search for people who may be able to help him decide on a future career direction and eventually land a job.
6. Become findable. It’s easy for anyone these days to create a digital footprint without years of experience. Students can position themselves as subject matter experts or at least subject matter experts in training by showcasing their talents online. A journalism or English major could start a blog and link to articles or creative writing pieces. A finance major could blog about the financial markets. A theater major could post performance videos on YouTube. A history major could post a video explaining a particular historic event. The possibilities are endless.
7. Show your kids how to source important connections. Teach your child to be cognizant of who on campus may be an ally for him once he starts looking for a job. It may be his favorite economics professor, an alumni that came to the school to do a presentation, or a guest lecturer who presented on a topic that fascinates your child. Suggest he build relationships with upper classmen. By doing so, he will be able to learn from their experiences following graduation and benefit from their trial and error of what worked and didn’t work during their job search.
8. Encourage good grades… but not too good. We all want our children to succeed academically, but it’s important not to overemphasize the importance of grades over other critical career building and character building activities. The reality is that the only time an employer will ever care about your child’s grades is the year he graduates from college. At that juncture, employers may view the GPA as an indicator of success in school which may have some transferability to the world of work. But once your child applies for that second job out of school, few employers will care what his GPA was and will base his candidacy on success achieved in the previous job. So achieving a 4.0 while sacrificing opportunities to attain real life work skills and build authentic relationships with others is not a sound career management strategy. Achieving a 4.0 doesn’t make a student a better candidate and it may even work against the student as some employers will wonder what other important life experiences the student gave up in order to attain the exceptional GPA.
9. Suggest an activity to improve public speaking. Interviews can be daunting for seasoned professionals. They can be even harder for new graduates. A public speaking class, a job giving incoming student campus tours, or a role in an on-campus play can help students hone their public speaking skills and become more confident during interviews.
10. Let go. Be supportive, offer suggestions and recommendations, and introduce your child to contacts whenever possible. But set the expectation that this is your child’s job search, your child’s life, and another important step on his road to independence.

Women now make up at least half of the American workforce. And based on a research study from the Pew Research Center, one out of five married women are more educated and earn more money than their husbands.

Yet despite these strides, working women are facing more challenges than ever before. Since more men than women have been downsized, the remaining women are often asked to pick up more of the slack at work. And despite the fact that the average male partner shares more household and child rearing responsibilities than perhaps his father did, women still manage the lion’s share of these responsibilities.

As I plod along trying to successfully manage my existing client projects, cook an evening meal, source new prospects, make sure my son does his homework, execute on a marketing plan, scrub a toilet, write my next book, and sooth my daughter’s freshman college year jitters, I do sometimes think how nice it would be to have a wife to help me out and wonder if you can get one on e-Bay. But since that doesn’t seem to be an option and the demands of work and family don’t seem to be changing anytime soon, here are some suggestions for making the most of work and family responsibilities.

At work:

Document your accomplishments all year long. Keep track of new responsibilities you are assigned or the ones you inherit after others are downsized. Jot down some notes periodically about projects you completed successfully and be sure to document how you helped the company you support make money, save money, save time, grow the business, or keep the business. In a year where the average salary increase was about 2.5%, it is in your best interest to keep track of what you have achieved. Doing so could differentiate your performance over that of your peers and be the difference between a 2% and a 5% increase at review time. If you are going to work hard, you might as well be recognized for it.

Embrace new responsibilities as an opportunity to grow. When new projects come along, try to see them as a new opportunity rather than just more work. The new responsibilities might give you the opportunity to become the resident expert or “go to guy” on a particular subject. Being the expert on something makes you a more valuable employee and less replaceable.

Learn how to become an expert at delegating. As your responsibilities grow, look for ways to delegate more and mentor junior members of the department. Doing so will allow you to take some things off your plate and focus on more strategic work and make your team members feel that you are interested in their professional development.

At home:

Catch up on work while your family works. Sit at the dining room table with your kids after dinner while they do homework so you can monitor that they are doing it and answer any of their questions. Use this time to catch up on some of your own work such as email and reading. This can actually become a nice family ritual and something that the kids will look forward to because even though they are doing their homework, they will appreciate the fact that you are nearby.

Find activities that your spouse and your kids can do together that don’t include you. Some dads like to coach sports teams and others like museum outings. Work with your spouse to come up with some activities that can be exclusive to him and the kids and use your down time for you. Go to the gym, catch up with friends, or take a nap. Do whatever you need to to re-energize.

Use online resources to get chores done. The Internet has made shopping 24/7 a reality. Whether you need to shop for groceries, house-ware items, or clothing, just about everything can be found online and you can shop at odd hours or ones that are more convenient for you. In addition, some online food markets offer tasty and healthy choices for already prepared meals at reasonable prices and this can be a boon to working moms struggling to make a home-cooked meal every night.

Cut yourself some slack. None of these suggestions will work perfectly every time. And during some periods of your life, work and family will be more challenging to balance than others. For example, if you are the parent of an infant and working a full-time job, you will be tired and something will slide. If you need to get dinner from the drive through window every now and then, don’t beat yourself up over it. And if your house is not so spotless that you can eat off the kitchen floor, will anyone really be any worse off?