Many years ago I worked in the World Financial Center, adjacent to the World Trade Center. Every morning, after getting off the subway at the WTC stop, I needed to walk across an indoor bridge that connected the WTC to my office. The bridge always seemed endless and it often reminded me of that poppy field that Dorothy had to cross before getting to The Emerald City.
People were always walking at a fast pace across that bridge because that’s what New Yorkers do and because we were all trying to get to our offices before 9am. Sometimes I would spot colleagues on the bridge and we would walk across together. The length of the bridge was such that it allowed you to have enough of a conversation with the other person to learn something new about them. Sometimes it was an update on their weekend or their personal life. Other times it was a glimpse into their childhood or a sliver of information about their future hopes and dreams. At the time, it seemed like I was just chit-chatting and trying to stay occupied while crossing the bridge. But the reality was that I was actually networking…sharing information with colleagues that helped deepen the relationship and build trust and rapport.
I left that job several years before 9/11 and lost touch with many of my “bridge buddies.” Not long after 9/11, I was doing some consulting work downtown in another one of the World Financial Center buildings. But this time the bridge was gone. A makeshift bridge made of steel provided an interim solution for those who needed to trek across. No longer an enclosed bridge, the new bridge was ugly, scary, and raw and it did nothing to shield me from the cold winter elements. Being down at ground zero was certainly an emotional experience. Walking across that bridge, freezing and alone was my own personal moment of loss.
That’s when I realized how important it was to stay connected to people from my past. That’s when I realized that those chats on the bridge were really much more than small talk. I don’t remember a lot of the projects I worked on with these colleagues or what we talked about at work . But I remember the conversations on the bridge in vivid detail because they weren’t about work; they were about the person…and knowing something about the person is what builds the connection. It’s as if the physical bridge gave me the opportunity to cross the relationship bridge between work colleague and friend.
I’ve reconnected with some of my friends from the bridge. I think of them frequently but I always think of them on 9/11. What’s your bridge between work colleague and friend? Maybe it’s the company cafeteria, the bar across the street, or some other hangout. Find the bridge, nurture it, and never let it disappear.
Photo credit: Alexey: NYC Downtown